So I know its been a while since I have posted. :) Sorry!
Updates Updates! :)
Taysen is doing extremely well since he got his tubes put in! He is starting to really put together some sentences and we are starting to actually understand what he is saying. :) He says "I want" like twenty million times a day now. Whether its "Iwan juuuiceeyyyy" or "Iwan Ici!" (Ici is what he calls his Binky...we can even get him to say "Buh" and "Keys" but then when you say "Say BINKY" he still says with all his might "IICCCIII" LOL...anyhow, he is wanting things all day long. :) He is starting to learn his colors, we just started really working on them tonite with flashcards, and he will match toy fruits and veggies with the color on the card. Like grapes on purple and a tomato on red...we thought he was doing really great for the first night we really tried at least! :) Anyhow...he now will tell us when he poops. :) Yay...isnt that sweet. :) He comes up to me and says "MomMom I poots" LOL...yes he calls me MomMom...its so cute! Unless he is yelling at me...which is often. Then Im just MOM! Haha...anyhow I love that he is starting to talk so much, and even though I know his problems are far from over and probably will never be totally over, but at least this is a start. He makes me so proud when he walks out of speech therapy and you can hear him coming down the hall back into the waiting room talking about me...and then when he walks in he says "HI Mom!" And all the old people in the waiting room waiting for their turn for physical therapy are Awwing him and Im all...yep thats my boy! :) Its so stinkin' adorable I could cry everytime. :) I just dont know what I would do without that kid...he is my heart thats for sure. :)
On to Rowie...:) Now that her cast is off, I had been freaking out about her because she is now officially a year old and she wasn't even showing an interest in crawling/getting around. Granted she had a cast on for a good 7-8 weeks but I still freak out about everything especially since if you have one kid with Autistic tendencies, you have like a 10-15% chance of your other children having it also. Anyhow, like 2 days later Rowan finally started crawling!!! Thank God! Its the army crawl, but at least its something!!! But Rowan is always doing a hand thing, opening and closing her hands, mostly in excitement, her hands and feet are always going. Her hands just open and close constantly, she doesnt do it on purpose, she just does it. But like I said, her feet go at the same time, just moving to the same beat of her hands...so I freak out a little. I just wish she would stop it. I know I am just a paranoid mommy because of our situation, but if she would stop that one thing I would be happy! She is babbling like crazy, so I dont think she will be speech delayed like Taysen is. She doesnt really do any other weird things other than the hand/feet thing, so Im not too worried. Last week on thursday Taysen's caseworker for Help Me Grow was here for a meeting about him, and she watched her a little and she said its nothing to be worried about yet, and that we should give her a little time on the crawling/walking since she did break her leg. Anyhow, she said that if there is anything at all going on with Rowan, it will be caught early and we will get her into any and all the therapies she will need if she needs them. It just sucks to even have to worry...but it just comes with the territory when you already have one child with problems.
I ordered the book The Elephant in the Playroom tonite, I am looking forward to getting it. I have been having a rough time lately when it comes to my kids and thinking about everything and worrying and it just gets overwhelming sometimes. I just dont understand why my child has to have something wrong with him. Its not fair, ya know? Why? We arent bad people. We did everything that you are supposed to do when you get pregnant and have your child. We do everything that we can to do right by our children and its just not fair...ya know? I just dont get it sometimes and I take it personal. Its hard not to, right? I know I could have it worse, but its hard to look at it that way when you are toting your kid to appointments almost every day of the week most weeks. Its just exhuasting and makes you want to just shut the world out and keep inside so we dont have to deal with it and see all the normal kids who are progressing oh so perfectly...It just sucks...oh well...enough whining I guess. Sorry Im a buzz kill sometimes guys!!
Anyhow...Taysen has a meeting to get transitioned out of Early Intervention and into our local Preschool. Thats exciting. Im happy for him but a little scared of how he is going to take the change. Preschool is 2 full days here. Right now, he does EI for 2 hours twice a week.
Today we got new professional pics of the kids. My adorable son wouldnt cooperate for crap. He just wanted to pace up and down the garden and trees and wouldnt sit down next to his sister for anything. I finally called my friend who lives down the street and asked her if I could use her yard (she has a nice pond with a dock) so that we could get some pics of Taysen throwing rocks into the water, because thats better than pics of him pacing. Hopefully we got a couple decent shots. I wont know for a day or two. Rowan did great smiling wise, but she kept putting everything in her mouth...sand, rocks, sticks, grass...even a piece of bird poop!! I was so disgusted! I prayed and prayed for a child who would eat anything and I sure got one. *barfs*
Oh and Rowan is ONE today!! :) Isnt that crazy!! I hope some of the pics turn out nice. I cant wait to post them. I cant wait to see them first though!!! LOL! OK I guess thats it for now...Im sorry if I whined through 90% of this!!

September 17, 2008
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5 comments:
I can't say I know how you feel, because I don't, and it wouldn't be fair to you to undermine your feelings about Taysen. But I hope you know that I'm here for you, if you ever need to just yell or cry or, hey, even whine. ;) Thats what sisters are for. And I can see Taysen is improving in leaps and bounds when it comes to communication. I'm excited that I'm started to understand him now and I also think that he recognizes me better. I hated feeling like a stranger to him. Try not to stress over Rowan. You can walk down that path if it ever confronts you. <3 You have got two beautiful children Melis. Even IF they are placed on some spectrum, they are perfect in every way. *hugs*
RYN: Yeeah, I TRY to at least make it look like I dress my kids, if only once in awhile. xD
Melissa,
There are things that could be a lot worse but it is like that with everything in life. I read this short story once a woman wroe who had a son with Down Syndrome, she isa di it was like waiting your whole life to go to Italy, imagining the smells, sights, tatses, the whole experience, seeing all the beauty, the wonder of it all. You pack, get everything ready, board the plane, but when you step off you are in Holland. At first your disappointment, the unfairness, the way you have been cheated can overwhelm you. But then you look around, at the blue skies, and the tulips and it is beautful, a different kind of beautiful, not the beautiful you always dreamed of, but you love it just the same, it not what you always dreamed of, but what you needed most just the same.
I don't think your post was whiney at all. I'm glad that Taysen is doing so well! If he has improved this much in just a short few months imagine what lies ahead for him. Like Mal said, it doesn't matter if you're child/ren are placed on a spectrum...they are perfect in every way. *hugs*
I read yesterday but do to only having one hand couldn't comment. Happy Birthday Rowan!!! I am so happy to hear that Taysen is speaking so well.
I understand the fears you have and the need to give yourself every worst case scenario. You think it will ease the heartbreak if it turns out to be true and then if it is true you'll blame yourself because you thought about it too much. I know because I do this to myself every day all day long. You are allowed to have feeling and worries and fears and you are allowed to express them. In no way does this make you a bad person or a bad mom. It makes you human and just brave enough to put out there how many other people in your position would be feeling.
My children are not perfect but they are mine and I love them so much and I can only do the best that I can because I love them so much. I figure as long as they don't turn out to be another Charles Manson then I did pretty well.
I got so excited when I read he's starting to talk better. How awesome, Melissa!!!!! I pray it continues and his words get clearer and clearer.
Awww..one year old. Happy Birthday, little miss :) I hope she had a great day!
I can't wait to see those pics. I hope they turned out great!!
:hugs: for you. I know your worried, but your doing an amazing job with both of them!! I'm here if you ever need to talk :)
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